Reality is really always in flux. I’ve learned that over the years, with some small or some big changes always occuring. The big changes of course are always the most difficult and need time to be absorbed. I’ve learned that what I thought to be permanent really wasn’t at all and that I could either reject or accept that. Either way I came to see that ‘reality’ was nothing more then present moments lived and it was up to me whether I wanted to live them fully or waste them bemoaning past events over and over.
In each moment, we experience a breath, sensations, thoughts, feelings, sounds. Each holding the opportunity for us to either react or respond to. This whole sense of self and of ‘being’ part of life with its ebbs and flows intertwined with our need to find some sense of ‘permanency’ is so much at the core of what creates the contradictions, struggles, longings, sadnesses and uncertainties within us. We as humans for the most part seem to need a deep sense of belonging, particularly with people and places, in essence a place that we can call ‘home’ with people with whom we can feel loved and familiar.
In times of deep loss, stress or trauma, we can often find ourselves returning to past memories that gave us a sense of comfort and certainty. Past experiences which when recalled can still bring a wonderful sense of safety, warmth, comfort and happiness. In such times it is nearly always the more simple things that mean the most and we can find ourselves connecting more to things around us which remind us of such times. For example when my mother passed away a few years ago I found my senses were heightened to the smell of freshly baked bread, or standing with my back to a blazing fire with the beautiful smell of wood burning. Or standing outside on a new year’s eve and listening attentively at the strike of midnight to the hooters of trains in a railway station, and from ships, docked or anchored just out beyond the horizon, sending in their way a good wish for the New Year. All these things I have such fond memories of sharing with my mother and find myself still recalling.
We move in and out of life with its events and experiences , leaving our mark and also being forever changed ourselves by the living of them. This sense of being part of the creative flow of things, no matter how small, seems to be a need that we humans have,that we long for and seek. Through each of us, at the core of being a human being, there is a unique and intimate need to be recognised and valued. This above all else is what can cause great dis-stress if regularly withheld or denied.
It is easy perhaps for us to imagine that life is something that is just happening to or around us. However, as we consciousy choose to take control of our lives, change our thinking and connect to our power, we create new, positive and different experiences. So as we very much shape our ‘realities’ we have the power to create amazing things in new each present moment by changing our thoughts.
In our ever shifting and changing ‘realities’ may we become and remain always compassionate to the humaness within ourselves and others. May we forever have the curiousity to explore the more within ourselves and others. May we endeavour to reach out and be open to the newness unfolding in ourselves and others. May we connect with the amazing unique potential of ourselves and others. May we ‘give time for stillness,’ consciously nurture, give comfort and be gentle with ourselves and others through the joys and sorrows of our ‘Ever Changing Realities’.
Bernadette Phillips is Founder of NEW INSIGHTS FOR CHANGE and an Intuitive Coach, Social Scientist, Motivational Speaker, Conscious Educator, Social Entrepreneur, Poet and Writer, with over thirty years experience working with and in, Community, Business, Leadership and Education.